During the last 60 days I have learned a few things. I realized how (1) how truly unhappy I was and (2) that I can’t hide it very well. I was on was a path that led nowhere and regardless of what I told myself that’s the way it was. I was stuck in a position where all I did was babysit adults who acted like 3 year old’s (not all but quite a few) and obeyed instructions from individuals who led out of fear and not out of a sense of duty. It was the difference between – “do this because it is right” and “do this because anything other may be wrong.” The distinction seems small but it was a group who was only concerned with coddling the loudest child and praying they did not end up changing the dirty diaper. This burned me up inside and I guess I was unable to hide my lack of appreciation for the status-quot. I really did learn from it and many aspects of it were great. I had the chance to meet and talk to great people…not going to lie it was tough to “see what they say” when you knew you were being asked to short change someone’s request, but its business I guess… just not my style to shaft the good ones and take care of the complainers, just saying. More importantly I have re-focused on whats important to me. It is hard to re-focus on doing what makes you happy when you have spent so many years adjusting to mild misery. But lesson learned and work in progress.
My golf game is improving. I am putting by feel and that has been working out for me. I have a consistent routine with my shots. My routine includes a small checklist; lie, environment, aim, decide…lead. I “lead” my game where I want it to go so I just check all those things off in my head before even picking the club. Most people aim after they have decided what club they are going to use for the distance. But I find it more beneficial to aim prior to club selection because I want to have a clear head about what I expect the ball to do after contact, no sense in deciding where the ball is going to go after you choose how its going to get there. I think the key for me is to come down steep on the ball. The moment I feel that I am not going at a steep angle I start hitting very low trap shots. These are like angry punch shots with no height and lackluster distance. When I feel like I am going steep on the shot I get soaring powerful shots. I am still working on getting the draw to be more subtle than it currently is, but I will take those over the low punchers; dead aim baby. I feel confident that if I can connect the dots for a full round I may have a shot at breaking 90 in the next few months.
My running is better mileage-wise; cranking them out in bigger numbers. I still feel weak sometimes but I think it is a little fatigue and a little recklessness since I do go big sometimes I am not supposed too. I know I can be better about following Coach Jeff and Coach Diane’s schedule for me but sometimes I just don’t have it in me to run. I think I am a sucker for cold and rain. The worse the conditions outside are the more badly I want to go and run. If its 70 and breezy I would rather sit and read a good book than go for a trail run my logic being that it is just too nice to go run, I know I am strange. I am also noticing that my back tenses up since i try to find balance with my arms. Its a constant struggle to remember to relax. Get the form and the miles will come.